When families are separated or divorced at Christmas time, things often don’t add up like they used to.
Clients often come to me as a Divorce Coach with many unanswered questions from their children about what Christmas is going to look like now that they’re living in two separate homes. Christmas is known to be an emotional time for family: the heightened excitement of children and their anticipation of gift-opening; the hastened and hectic pace at which the family is moving; the frantic buying of gifts and decorating the home.
We all want the holidays to be a happy time for family to come together. If you are part of a divorced family, this may highlight your “separate-ness”, and things feel different and unfamiliar to you. This can make Christmas time feel new and uncomfortable, as it asks for new routines to be implemented in order to keep the peace. Family counselling in Richmond BC may be the solution for you!
We at Collaborative Divorce Network, encourage you to see yourselves as two new, restructured families. This often means that we help you create a parenting schedule that splits Christmas time between the two parents, in a balanced fashion. You may also find it useful to see us for family counselling as you consider yourself to be low-conflict in front of the kids, and would like to learn some healthy guidelines to help your family celebrate Christmas together.
Some parents come to me struggling, as any of us parents would, with the emotional stress of divorce, and find themselves feeling very alone at this time of year. Their temptation may be to reunite as a family, for the sake of the children, to carry on past family holiday traditions.
If this sounds like you, you are best to book an appointment in Richmond BC so that we may carefully consider all factors that might influence your children with experienced family counselling.
Children are like sponges; like a sponge, they absorb the energy around them. They tend to be acutely aware of their parents’ conflict from a very young age. Often children may have wishful or magical thinking that may provide false hope in their parents getting back together. For some, it might be their only Christmas wish. This is where we exercise caution and urge parents to be careful in this decision making process. The expertise found in the Divorce Coaches at Collaborative Divorce Network can provide a comprehensive plan to help your family find more peace at Christmas.
There’s no Christmas cookie-cutter approach that is going to work for every family. We respect that each family is unique and individual factors must be considered. In some cases, when parent conflict is lower, some families can find joy in spending Christmas together.
To truly have a merry Christmas may mean having two Christmases, with love, laughter and joy underneath two trees. As parents, your ‘presence’ is your children’s best ‘present’ – even if it means you have to love them from two separate homes. Call Collaborative Divorce Network in Richmond BC today to book an appointment with our team for family counselling so we can help make a schedule for your family this holiday.