Vancouver Divorce Lawyer on Collaborative and Litigation Practice
What better season than Halloween to reflect on the essential difference between collaborative practice and litigation, i.e. the adversarial process that uses the courts to referee and ultimately decide disputes. While neither process purports to be the only answer; as one size rarely fits all, the horror show that litigation often is, involves people frequently putting on their "Halloween Masks" to use intimidation, threats, cost, and endless unilateral acts (calculated or otherwise) to gain advantage;....usually at the expense of the family's emotional and financial health.
A separated or restructured family is still that, a family, even after divorce. So, why not at least try and avoid the destructive separation and divorce when we know that approximately 97% of family cases that start in the court system settle without a final trial and about 90% of cases that start collaboratively (worldwide) settle collaboratively. Why not give the children a chance to see their parents model a healthy separation and positive restructuring rather than continue the unhealthy modeling for which parents often feel guilty when they know their marriage did not nurture the children as they had hoped it would?
Separating spouses have a unique opportunity to model a respectful, positive separation. Make no mistake, children write their own story of their parents’ divorce...so why not help them make that as positive and comforting as it can be. We know that most children want their parents to stay together at all costs; but when that is not realistic, a healthy separation and restructuring of the family can go a long way toward teaching your children to become independent young adults who are better able to cope in our complex society than those who are only able to write stories of their parents' unending conflict. So, while the connection to Halloween may be a bit unusual, perhaps if we take off the "Horror Show Masks" and try to give our kids the gift of peace...we will have truly started the holiday season with a renewed spirit of hope and the possibility of a better future for families in transition and society as a whole.
The Collaborative Divorce Network is a group of divorce lawyers in the greater Vancouver area; contact us today if you require professional help.